Monday, July 13, 2009
Mostmobbed on Twitter
In order to make it easier to post and follow the infinite roads to mobbing, now you will find Jack and his most mobbed life in Twitter tweets: http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23mostmobbed
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Serendipity
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Occam's razor
The second event that excite me very much was that we got gadgets from Red-Hat - JBoss for our certification! Wow I immediately grab a T-shirt with Logo! What is a developer without an informatics logo on his t-shirt? ;). Well, we took some funny photos, Jack proposed to be the photographer and in one of these photo there are me, Prince Charming and Big Boss, but Big Boss made me a pair of horns ( funny man..., this is not a good sign in Italy ) and Jack immediately posted it on this blog; then they took the T-shirt away from me. Until that point business as usual, I'm always in mood for jokes, but that fool posted on the blog with as tag my real surname and offending remarks, and Google indexed that tag in a few seconds, so, while Jack was laughing hysterically, I got terrible calls from my fiancé... I forced Jack to remove the tag, but it will remain forever indexed in Google, like a tattoo...
Friday, April 24, 2009
The truth about Open Lab
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The worse demo EVER!
Then he sent almost a book of "specifics", smart questions like "can one access Teamwork through the web?" or "does Teamwork have reports" (having reports made sense when before the web, in pre-history, IBM AS400 applications were incapable of giving feedback in real time). This specific requests were just so silly that it inspired writing a blog post about it, which actually was quite successful. The heart of it is how silly the useless consultant is.
So I said: ok, now that I've put him in public shame, the guy and his crappy corporation will leave us in peace, and finally they'll buy some horribly expensive ActiveX 1982 "project management" software which fakes the web and runs in InternetExplorer 5. No! The guy was non pissable: he still wanted a demo, and still carefully avoided trying anything out. We agreed that we had just to do a short demo, ignoring the specifics.
Still, he kept sending new documents, always shorter and more nonsensical. I did SHIFT-CANC with all that junk mail.
The day of the demo came; the guy sent me a phone number to call, which was supposedly a free 800 number for international calls. Of course, it was only free from the US, and actually it was the wrong number. I suddenly remembered that I had to leave the office for a personal irrelevant matter, so I left Roberto there to do the demo. The rest is what I have been told by the guys in Open Lab, when they recovered from the hysterical group laughter state in which I found them when I came back.
So it went like this: the guys started calling again and again, Roberto tried to instruct them about the desktop sharing session, but it seemed that there was nobody there listening. When finally Roberto managed to get some attention, with the background noise in Open Lab of our 24/7 table-tennis tournament, he overheard skeptical laughs coming also from the remote session; evidently nobody was taking the demo seriously, and even they understood that the useless consultant was just useless and clueless. So, as we were also paying for the call to this crappy company, Roberto simply asked "so what you want from us?"
The guy (the useless consultant) at the other end was shocked by the question which supposed the presence of some intelligence on his head planet, so of course the answer was vague "well, Pietro [me] knows what to talk about" - to which Roberto answered "but Pietro is not here"
At this waiting for Godot exchange, Roberto overheard at the lazy brains end several people getting into a state of unstoppable laughter: so many things had gone wrong, and they were shouting "And Pietro is not there! And Pietro is not there!"
The useless consultant suddenly interrupted the phone call. That is when of course I came back (Gino holds that it is not by chance, and that all the time I disappear when there is any real problem).
Ok, it was all a waste of time; but we did have a good time at the end of it!
P.S.: After this all-time worse demo, believe it or not- the useless consultant wrote back! Calling me Giancarlo instead of Pietro (in what state must his mind be while writing to "Pietro Polsinelli" and calling me Giancarlo, a most unlikely name???)! And asking for customer references (still work on our part, and still avoiding trying the software). Maybe they pick bizarre suppliers in order to have a good laugh now and then? The world of IT is just toooo bizarre...
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Gino self-mobbing
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The generous manager
I also remarked that he was going to get a full paid day with expenses covered, but checking we saw that it was on Saturday, anyway…
Friday, March 6, 2009
Breakfast at Tiffany's
They seemed to endlessly achat about boring staff, and they kept talking above my head. They weren’t stopping getting more and more pastries,, I've thought that they were much more hungry this morning than usual…
All our colleagues went back to the office, and I've waited those two guys, but I've made a big MISTAKE.
When I've went to pay my breakfast Jack told me : "Hey Gino, I hope you've got some extra money because I and Big Boss have forgotten our wallets in the office ahahah, what coincidence ahaha! Thanks for now bye!".
So I was left there and had to pay a total of four pieces of cake and four coffees and cappuccinos... I don't spend so much money even when I go out with my girlfriends, and they are expensive…
Monday, November 17, 2008
Gino still with us..
All the managers of the company were complaining about this total waste of company’s money, and I was confirming all the time what a disaster Gino is; all this took us long breaks over cappuccinos and homemade pastries.
So when we finally released the new installer in hundreds of downloads, I started collecting statistics of the successful installations (as our software unshamingly calls home like all commercial software does), in order to show the disaster and get Gino immediately fired. But for still obscure circumstances, actually the share of successful installations has improved dramatically. So I had to hide and alter data, and keep a quiet, low profile about Gino and all that “time wasted” talk.
Will need another reason… .
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Gino Vs. Motorbike round one
Three days ago I had to go to a customer, in town, so Polyglot told me:"I’ll lend you my scooter!": that seemed fine.
When I went to Polyglot to get the scooter keys, he started describing a list of starting procedures for the scooter, some of them quite absurd, between mythology and sci-fi, but I know that man so I wasn't scared, at least then...
I went out of the office, and recognized immediately the vehicle: ok it wasn't new, actually the dirtiest bike I've seen in year, but that bag with old shoes on the saddle, what did it mean?? After some discussion with Polyglot that was telling me to throw it away in the first trash box I saw, I convinced him that it was his responsibility...
Got rid of the Dadaist shoes, I tried to start the bike with the electric start, but it was broken, ok, no problem, I went with the kick starter. Man!!
It just didn't want to start: I kick started many motorbikes, even 4 strokes cross motorbikes, but Polyglot’s scooter no way!! So I returned in the office and told him the facts. He watched me and seemed to think, then suddenly:"AHAHA, I must be without gas!!". So to get to the customer ActionGirl (our secretary) called a taxi for me...
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Ride the lighting
Friday, April 18, 2008
Does Boss Work?
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Gino simply never works
He simply never works.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Half microwave effect...
Well Boss after saying "of course CEO, I was thinking the same thing" (he always says that to CEO, whatever she says), actually just thought to substitute one of my monitor (the violet RGB one) with an old LCD!!! Whoa!! Marvelous now I've a CRT one and a LCD, naturally they have different dimension so when I move my eyes from a monitor to the other I get a headache. Also my desk now is pending on the right side, so Big Boss told me:"Well you can adjust it: simply push it up with your back from under the desk and fix the pin on its right leg at the right height", yes, quite right observation, if I happened to be an elephant...
Microwave effect
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Job interviews
So we'll get rid of Gino soon!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Bloody sunday
At about 9 p.m. Boss called me: "Everything is going fine, ain't it Gino? Just as I told you!". I tried to tell Boss, what had happened, but he had already hanged up, with "Now go home, don't waste our extra-time pay just for sleeping there".
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Points of view
Improving performance
Ok Ok, I can admit that I'm a rookie, but the actual amount of Ram in my PC is 1 GB: I checked this after Boss went away laughing. Geez! Only 1 GB for a Java developer! A secretary has a PC with more memory than me, but the most relevant particular was that when I restarted my Ide I gotthe message:"Error in local thread main please check configuration file an error in configuration."
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Mouse' balls
Friday, February 1, 2008
Human machine interface
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Never leave the office. Never!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Remote Access
First he asked me which console I’d like to use, what kind of x terminal and then he tried to convince me to use a text-only terminal session. Good boy! He is a Linux fanatic! After half an hour discussion, I had to call Jack, he told me just “OK”, and in a minute I had my connection.
Now I’m in the bed with three pillows under my knees, three under my back, a pillow on the stomach and my laptop on like the Mayan astronaut. But at least I can
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Travelling for work
Windows
Good ideas
When he showed me those stupid poses of ugly martial arts, he started begging me to try them: “this is soo healthy for you”. I had no heart to refuse, also because I have to seem ‘illuminated’ I accepted to descend at the same level of my
And the consequence is.. today is the tenth day of horrible back pain!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Bohemian rapsody
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Gino's contract
Some work for Gino's
Following this deep and wise remark, I gave Gino some documentation to write.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The man in front of me
Shell is the law
Boss called me for a new task other day (yes, I have an incredible number of assignments), he told me that I had to do some scripting for an Java application to be installed on Linux. Wow, it's the most interesting task for now. I started coding immediately. After some tests, I gave all to Boss for the final verdict. Man, you can't understand my surprise when I heard Boss saying:" Damn: where are the damned .bat files???". I tried to explain Boss that under Linux there are no .bat files, and after a while he seemed to get it, came to my PC, where I’m running my most loved Linux GUI, and said: "Ok, I perfectly understand that!! Then, where is the application icon? And where is the control panel, the myComputer icon? And what is this wallpaper crap? It seems a dog's shit!!".
Murphy's law
The Contract!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Joy of living - Gino's quarterly review
Shortest long-term contract ever
Our new class header
* @author Jack Boss
* @problems, complaints, insults Gino Employee
* write freely to gino@mostmobbed.anonym_.com
*/
Faking work
But then I found out how he was doing that: he was using this software which fakes word usage, but actually you are surfing, and with a simple F1 press you can switch between the browser (real) and a wordlike appearance:
It even fakes the app bar appearance:
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Quarterly review
It started very seriously, in fact it was quite boring. All my colleagues were very serious and Boss and Big Boss looked very interested. When my turn to speak arrived, Boss started to make loud jokes with Big Boss, but I didn't get distracted from the review. As I started to speak, the noise produced by Boss kept growing. When I got to about half way through, Boss obliged me to speak about a determinate section of my work; I complied, and this was a big mistake. Boss has modified some code on that section (introducing several bugs) and all the application started to crash, and with the flow of on-screen exceptions Boss and Big Boss started to laugh more and more, but I kept going and finished it. So at the end Boss and Big Boss were rolling with laughter, and they didn’t get a thing of my technical explanations. The strange thing was that after me when another colleague started her review, they were again very serious and pleased. Sometimes I think that Boss and Big Boss don't understand my work, they just don’t get it, so that’s why they start to make jokes on me and my work..
Ridicolous martial artist
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Urban ninja - back blocked
So today I passed by in the office and there was Gino. He was going to a ridicolous martial art training, so I shown him some basic movements, as he seemed to be lacking even the basics of the art. But something in my back started hurting, and in order not to depress Gino, I pretended that I was fine. Now I'm at home, blocked in bed by back pain. There's something cursed about that guy.
Censorship
I told her that I will act immediately to make employees use a proper terminology. So I'm so scared now that even these posts will be censored from now on. Holy s.!